WORKPLACE WELLNESS
Fostering cooperation harmonizes struggles
Competition not always answer
Lately Nathalie seems uneasy as if her life is not quite the right fit. Her way of being in the world is shifting and at this point there is an inner struggle between her old and new self.
She is the oldest in a very competitive family. All her life, her performance has been closely checked by her father as well as her mother, who was Nathalie’s high school teacher.
Besides having been first class all of her childhood,
she has won many trophies from various competitive sports. She likes to be at the front, the leader of the pack. Nathalie (not her real name) is a colleague
as well as one of my good friends. After completing a degree in physical education, she started to be interested in the healing arts. As a consequence of her
studies, her personal development has sped up. She is undergoing a major transition; besides focusing on opening her heart she is developing her feminine self. At this stage, her cooperative side is struggling with her competitive one.
This polarization is very present in our society as well, with ferocious believers on either side claiming that their way is the correct way. Competition is
woven in the fabric of sports, politics, economics, war, education and most business models. It is difficult for many of us to understand how cooperation can co-exist with competition, unless it is within the competitive model (as when
we unite to defeat some “other”). Nathalie is becoming aware of the interconnectedness of everything. When she gets in a competitive mode she experiences a
rise in adrenaline, which she likes, as well as a feeling of separation from the “other”. She starts comparing herself; feeling that there is not enough for everyone and this creates a lot of stress around her heart. She wants to soften
her attitude yet the competitive urge to be at the top is very strong. I tried to counsel her with the cliché, “there is a difference between doing your best
and trying to beat everyone else.” I know this discomfort can lead to a quantum leap. What if she could unite the seemingly opposite nature of cooperation and competition and bring healing to her internal split? Holding one without
loosing sight of the other. Cooperation is as much a part of nature as competition; just like yin and yang are always in the presence of one another.
Competition is more yang: masculine, aggressive, ambitious. Cooperation is more yin: feminine, yielding. In Chinese medicine, any disease is rooted in an imbalance between these two forces.
Excess yin brings depleted yang and excess yang brings depleted yin. Variations between these forces are numerous and to diagnose it is a complex process in which the whole self must be embraced.
Our society is unbalanced. The feminine principle has been undervalued for centuries. Women are often motivated to prove themselves in a world where men developed the rules. Remembering the power of the feminine while being in the world
has potential to restore balance. In the Tao Te Ching, the yielding and soft qualities of water are said to overcome the hard and inflexible. I come from a
Celtic and Basque lineage where without cooperation none of my ancestors would have survived. In a small rural environment, living symbiotically with nature, giving, taking and helping others is a necessity. To state John F. Kennedy:
“United there is nothing we can’t do, divided there is nothing we can.” In many teachings, the reunion of opposites creates alchemy. With the integration of
contrary forces a transformation takes place giving birth to a new way. Fire and water produce steam, positive and negative currents generate electricity, a man and a woman making love creates a new being.
Nathalie is softening the edges of her self-centeredness. Her feminine power is becoming more present and as a result she looks more at peace with herself, as well as more powerful. She is still in the process of figuring it out.
Witnessing her is inspiring! |
